As you may recall from previous 'episodes' of “Wondering Allowed”, I live in paradise!
Now, before you say “Ugh” (or worse) and move on to other things, I thought you might like to know that even here in paradise, ovens need to be cleaned.
As I walked Geriatric Jeddy this morning, I realized I was moving more slowly than he was. Today’s chore list was not one I was in a hurry to get back to. This “not-quite-day” with its dull hue and leaking sky was sucking the life out of my spirit. We have had a lot of rain in the past while. About 9000 days in a row. Okay, not really, but it starts to feel that way when there are more grey days than sunny ones. I think my spirit is overly sensitive to barometric pressure.
Anyhoooo, add the crappy sleeps of menopause and you have the fixings for a miserable day.
So, I have decided to do two things. First, I thought I should tell you that even here in paradise, some days are dreary. We’re all keen to share our best days and quick to turtle when we feel lousy. So . . . paradise: dreary.
Second, I decided to choose joy. Now that I have done number one, you can help me do number two (so to speak – generally I can do number two all by myself.)
I have gone to get my Vitamin G Journal, where I will list ten things I am grateful for in this particular moment. I’m trying to do this every day.
Here is my list for this moment in my life:
I am grateful for . . .
Does he look chilly to you?
There, good. Where was I?
4. my achy hip (because it reminds me not to sit with my legs crossed which could give me varicose veins. I have no idea if that’s true, but it seemed logical when I heard it)
5. being such a sloppy painter (because I wrecked my clothes while painting the bathroom and now I have something to wear for jobs like cleaning the oven)
6. my new lap desk (because it gives me another comfortable place to work. Also, it’s very cool. Wanna see pictures?
7. my iPad (because how else would I be taking all these pictures for you?)
8. fir (because alder burns too fast. Hang on while I feed the fire)
9. oven cleaner (because I would have been scrubbing like a maniac this whole time I have been talking to you, instead of letting the cleaner do the work. Don’t tell anyone I use oven cleaner. There is probably some concoction of tree sap and rosemary that I should be using)
10. my Vitamin G Journal (because the difference between how I felt at #1 and how I feel here at #10 is pretty amazing)
I’m going to go take a picture from the deck (because maybe this day isn't dreary; maybe it's just a different kind of beautiful).
I choose joy.
I'll keep saying it until I feel it.